Writer's Journal

I have a lot of work to do, and I am running away from it!

I know I have a lot of work to do, and I am running away from it!

It’s procrastination at pro max levels.

Well, why, if you would ask?

I think it’s fear and laziness that follows. Sometimes you dream of things and stuff too big that it stops you from even moving a step. It’s like you only like the idea of swimming on the surface but are scared of the deep end. That pretty much sums up my life for the last 8 months!

Post leaving my job, I have been stuck in a bare minimum, functional freeze state, where I am running away from the important stuff. I know it’s unhealthy and serves no good. But these 8 months have also been heavy on contemplation.

Dad says, a focused fool beats a distracted genius (he read it somehwere).

And that’s what I have been all along—a distracted genius. Now, since there is a clear 8-month gap between me and the marketing industry, I don’t think I am even that genius anymore.

I’d still consider myself lucky because I have the resources to sit unemployed and do so much self-contemplation. Glad my parents are supportive to an extent. But now I myself feel that it’s been too long, and I’ve hit the ceiling of unproductiveness and lack of action.

All the things that I said to myself—I have not completed with utmost honesty. I’ve left everything halfway. I am a caregiver to others, but I have been overlooking my health and well-being for the longest.

I say I wanna be a writer, but I’ve been more than skeptical to publish anything useful at all. There is a difference between being self-employed and owning a business, and yes, I want to do the latter. I want to be an entrepreneur.

I know that what I am supposed to do lies at the intersection of writing, education, communication, and running a business. And educational consultancy and content creation are my more sensible next steps. Yet, I’ve been fearing action. I am scared of letting myself and everybody else down.

They say your 20s are about taking risks because you’ve nothing to really worry about. It’s true for me, but unless I really embody it, nothing’s gonna change.

I am going to lay out a super, super, super detailed plan of the actions I need to take to build my business (both at a functional and strategic level). I really need to stop depending on others to define my course of action. (And since the electricity of the house just came back at this very moment, it’s a sign from the universe.)

If I really want my vision board to come true, like it has done for the past 3 years, I’ll have to act as if I have already achieved it all.

Cheers, I'll soon update the next steps and goals for 2025 here!

If you'd like to get in touch, here's my email - through.words.official@gmail.com